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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Making Amends

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

An old friend called me today. I never did pick the phone up because I was too scared but more importantly, I was in class. I broke my friendship off with my friend back in March/April after receiving a phone call from him telling me things that would change my life forever. At the time, I was not ready to hear that my best friend was gay. I was not ready to talk about it. I was not ready for my life to be completely turned upside down but it happened in a split second. I didn't know what to say other than asking God to give me the strength to know what to say. Some things I said just came out and I wish I never said them. Promises I couldn't keep at the time.

I have been battling a lot since this has happened and my spiritual life has been affected because of it, sadly. I knew that I was not letting God handle my life and I have been miserable. Yet, God knows what He is doing. I am glad I have gone through trials not because I wanted to be far from God but it was good for me to realize how much I NEED Him! What a blessing! God's timing couldn't be better since I was chatting with a very good friend of mine a few days ago on Facebook. She asked me how I was doing spiritually and I told her I was doing OK but I really needed to be closer to God. She proceeded to tell me what she did to get herself closer to God. It was tough, just like working out every days, she disciplined herself by cleaning up her music, speech, movies, and lifestyle. She took the time that she spent on other things and read the Bible instead. This really put me in my place. I really have been examining myself as of late after this. Then, today, my friend called which was honestly perfect timing.

Now, it is time for me to make things right with my friend. I do not agree with his lifestyle and he knows this but he also knows that God loves him no matter what he does in his lifetime. I don't know what will happen after our meeting whether our friendship will be rekindled, whether he gets right with God and his family or he continues on with his life. I need a lot of prayer about decisions ahead because it is a big one so I would ask you to pray for me. All in all, like I said, I am very happy this happened. It's not fun, it's scary to go into the unknown but God will get me through this. He allowed everything to work together for good and I know He will continue to do so. 

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